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Wednesday, September 5th, 2007
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Cause it's cold out here and it'll be quite a shock
To breathe this air, to discover loss
So I'd like to make some changes before you arrive
So when your new eyes meet mine they won't see no lies,
Just love.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, July 18th, 2007
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You are Judgement
Happiness, Content, Joy.
Judgment is related to the Hebrew letter Shin, which is fiery and spiritual. A break from the past, going forward.
With Fire as its ruling element, Judgement is about rebirth or ressurection. The idea of Judgement day is that the dead rise, their sins are forgiven, and they move onto heaven. The Judgement card is similar, it asks the resurrection to summon the past, forgive it, and let it go. There are wounds from the past that we never let heal, sins we've committed that we refuse to forgive, bad habits we haven't the courage to lose. Judgement advises us to finally face these, recognize that the past is past, and put them to rest, absolutely and irrevocably. This is also a card of healing, quite literally from an accident or illness, as well as a card signaling great transformation, renewal, change.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
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oh yes, this is why i don't use livejournal anymore, because people are 12 and interpret everything they read in their own little way. so here you go, here's my stupid fucking livejournal arguement rebuttal;
when i said what i said about my friends from school coming home, i meant i've been glued to the people i've been around for the past few months, and now that everyones back, i'm either neglecting them or the people that come home. oh my god, i'm such a huge bitch. I JUST finished classes yesterday, i've been busting my ass with final projects, trying to figure out loans for Umass (which i am no longer attending because they all got denied for reasons which i am unaware of) I work all the time, and I spend my weekends in bars. I've been called when people came home whenever they were bored, not even to ask what i've been up to, so I don't expect anyone to actually know this, right? so don't act like this is all my fault, i don't hold it against any of you.
fucking lame
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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I wonder what the whole things for
In the moment you were screaming at me, I would have been somebody else
And the patrons of the pub keep singing
Macrame queens in the afternoon and I'm in tune or did I speak too soon
Punch drunk on somebody's joke what happened to the time
I dream of lives we could have had before where the heaters broke down open doorways
Like waiting for a trick to score, It seems that way some times
I wonder where were all going, I'm homesick for your primal knowing
I wonder why the wind keeps blowing you through my mind
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Friday, February 16th, 2007
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I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
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Sunday, December 24th, 2006
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| Time: | 3:19 pm. |
| Mood: |  touched. |
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Being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of redescovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me.
I'm forever yours,
Faithfully.
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Sunday, October 8th, 2006
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| Time: | 5:45 am. |
| Mood: |  drunk. |
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It opens your chest, and it opens your heart, and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.
You give them a piece of you.
They don't ask for it.
They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
:0)
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Saturday, August 5th, 2006
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I don't believe in anything
But I believe in you
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Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
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We'll do it all, everything, on our own.
We don't need anything, or anyone.
If I lay here..
If I just lay here...
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told,
Before we get too old...
Show me a garden that's bursting into life.
Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads.
I need your grace to remind me to find my own.
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so i think i have a crush on this boy...
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I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it...
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away, all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
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So I've made plenty of mistakes but I've NEVER fucking lied.
It pisses me off SO much when people can't own up to their actions.
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Every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am...
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Sooo in a couple of days is vacation. At the end of vacation I'm looking forward to camping in RI with my loves. AFter vacation comes PROM. Along with that comes the alst day of classes. EVER. Then comes finals. Then comes graduation practices. Then comes another night of proming. Then comes GRADUATION.
I can't fucking wait.
Life has been good. ( And I may have fallen in love with the gym. )
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
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I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body.
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice
When I'm not around...
You're so fucking special.
I wish I was special.
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Thursday, February 16th, 2006
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In the past weeks here's what I've learned;
Max, no matter how much I try and forgive him, will always be an asshole. He will never get over himself, he will never grow up. I never thought someone could change so much as he did for the worst. Lying about someone to make themselves look better is not an admirable quality. I want nothing to do with him, ever again. I tried to make my peace, but honestly, people are put in your lives to serve a purpose. He served his, and it's not gonna be a good idea to let him back in. There's too much pain involved with what he did to me and I will not let him get a chance to cause anymore.
As far as Josh goes; I made alot of mistakes. As much as I didn't want something serious, I pushed it because that was what I was used to. He's not who I thought he was, not necessarily in a he's-really-a-fucking-douche-bag type of way, but just that when you first get to know people they'll never show you their bad qualities until you see them first hand from experience. And I'm learning that I saw an oppurtunity and I jumped on it, even though it wasn't what either or us wanted. I've developed alot of bad habbits somewhere along the line and I need to break them. I shouldn't have to have a guy in my life, there's no reason for it. I shouldn't have to depend on someone else to make me happy. But I'm used to it... so I do. I know I brought everything that happened with us on myself. It's a mistake that I wish I could take back but I've got no choice but to learn from it. The past is just practice.
I felt this lack of feeling the other day, although I guess that doesn't make any sense. It's this whole I don't care type of deal. I've been too stressed out and angry lately and I've been dealing with too much shit with myself. My chest has literally been hurting for the past month and I seriously can no longer feel my heart. It's so nice.
In other news, Lee is my date for prom. Although it is kinda far away, it's a safe date, no drama, and fun. AKA the exact opposite of taking Adam to Jr. Ring, which is a plus. AND he smells good.
I've hardly been able to eat lately, and I woke up last night nausious as all hell with really bad cramps. I've been exhausted and sleeping all day to day, and my temperature is like 95.5. How strange.
Vacation is next week, and I'm looking forward to Head Automatica and snow boarding, although I'm sure it will rain by then and ruin my plans. Maybe it'll spare me a broken collar bone or something though, so maybe I shouldn't be that angry.
That's it for my update. Details are over-rated.
PS. Where the hell did my borders go?
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Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
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Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
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I'm sick of writing happy entries because I look back and feel stupid because everything gets fucked up lately. I don't wanna write negative entries because I don't wanna dwell on anything and I'm personally sick of listening to myself complain. I'm sick of saying the same things, and I'm sick of thinking them. I need a good weekend again.
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Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
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I feel like my insides have been ripped out and ran over by a parade of trucks.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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sunday_lushx's journal
angry.
mellow.
blank.
lonely.